DIDIHOOD ~ Issue 28

This month, we want to start our newsletter by stressing the importance of being an ally to other communities of colour, particularly the Black community. After a very heavy week of news, we have included some resources in this month's newsletter on addressing Anti-Blackness and a list of organizations you can support. We are also working on bringing some online events to you in the near future, stay tuned. 

Meet the Didi:  
This month, we talked to Taq Kaur. Taq Kaur is the CEO and founder of @imwithperiods. They are a menstrual, mxnstrual, and mahvari nerd and professor based at UBC on Musqueam Territory. They've been a student of molecular biology, sustainability, and social equity for their whole life. They're also a long-time mixed-methods researcher, dog lady, and passionate about pleasure, nachos & nach (dance).

What motivated you to become a mxnstrual health researcher? 

@imwithperiods is a passion project for me that one day will hopefully be my full hustle. My day job is writing lab reports, teaching, and filling out one million forms for UBC. 

Being a mxnstrual health researcher lets me be half-wild, half-tame. I think it’s been written in my birth chart that I will do something related to love, inner beauty, and supporting our root chakras. In this lifetime, I personally have had to do a lot of coping and healing from all the intergenerational trauma we as South Asian diasporic hybrids have absorbed and deal with every day.  

To name just one example, I’m grateful to have been a witness and involuntary participant to my parents’ (poorly) arranged marriage and relationship exploding over everything when I was young, because it taught me the lesson of what not to do in romantic partnerships. In a way, my research on mxnstrual health intersects with teachings from trauma and addictions science, integrative energy healing, theology from South Asia, postcolonial feminist theory, and more nerdy words that help us make sense of our purpose and existence on this planet. 

For me, tuning into the flows of my mxnstrual cycle, the whole cycle, including winter (period), spring (pre-ovulation), summer (ovulation), and autumn (PMS), helps me to ground down with mother earth, and the creator above every day. So I can shine bright, love myself, heal my own traumas through art, and also hold space for my Didis, friends, bhanjis, lovers, and more. 

Can you tell us about your book, Self-Care Down There: An All Genders Guide to Vaginal Wellbeingand why you decided to write it? 

I still can’t believe it’s a thing! I see Self-Care Down There on my bookshelf every once in a while and I’m still just wrapping my head around the fact that I’ve published a book with the word “sex” in it and it’s out there in the world as of Feb. 4. You can preview it for free on Amazon by clicking through to the country-specificlink here.  

Self-Care Down There is a fun and frank guide to vaginal, pelvic, and mxnstrual health for all genders that I wrote for you readers. I love you so much and want you to feel joy, self-compassion, and just generally get to know your body, mind, and spirit, and maybe even those of a few close friends, in this lifetime. It’s an intervention to stop the cycle of shame, guilt, surveillance, and awkwardness about female bodies in the world. 

I certainly got about zero sex education about menstrual cycles, fertility awareness method, solo sex as a female, etc. as a kid growing up all over the lower mainland of B.C. on Coast Salish territories. And I think we all know what our parents’ and extended families approach to sex ed is: death glare or if you are lucky: “Get married and then do whatever you want, but make sure you have children soon, because YOU OWE US.” Every once in awhile I meet a really progressive aunty ji or uncle ji and I basically want to give them a gold medal. 

And then there is porn… which when it comes to sexual health literacy is basically like fast-forwarding through a final championship sports event until the last 30 seconds of overtime. Mainstream content doesn’t really teach sex ed through principles of Tantra, Poly, Slow Sex and more beautiful practices that come from South Asian scripture, and oral herstories & histories.  

Are there any barriers in particular SA women face when it mxnstrual health? 

Y’all know what they are. Family don’t bend right? But to name a few: 

• Beauty standards, expectations of women’s bodies, etc. Basically we can refer to any modern poet (Lizzo, Rupi Kaur, etc. and see a laundry list).

• Intergenerational trauma from Partition, Operation Blue Star, Being a Modern Human passed down to all of us — our men, our women, our gender diverse folks — through mxnstrual blood (you can look up the terms "ACE Study" and "CH3 DNA and mitochondrial methylation" for the official academic stuff about how our parents pass down their wins and losses).

• Experiences of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual violence that stays in our bodies, and we cope with through plant medicines, until we have the space to heal it.

Any advice to younger Didis who are interested in writing a book? 

Let’s chat over a digital chai! Send me a DM on Instagram@imwithperiodsor email me at [email protected].

What we're reading: 

Happy Asian Heritage Month! Check out this list of 15 Inspirational Asian Canadians To Know!

Sajmun Sachdev writes about her experience talking to her South Asian mom about dating

Didihood is a collective created for South Asian Canadian women and with this comes great responsibility in ensuring that we are not only supporting our community but that we are allies to other communities as well. With that being said, we wouldn't be able to end this newsletter without mentioning the Anti-Black racism and violence that continues to make headlines in the news. As South Asians in the diaspora, this means recognizing the Anti-Blackness in our communities and homes and how we are complicit in it. Here are some resources on how South Asian folks can support Black people and organizations at this time.

Anti-Blackness in the South Asian Community and what you can do about it 

Anti-Racism Resources for White People (and other POC)

Canadian organizations doing anti-racism work that you can support

@southasians4blacklives


— Roohi Sahajpal 

Issue 28 
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