DIDIHOOD ~ Issue 55

Happy September!

This month we're happy to be featuring one of our favourite Didi's and biggest inspirations -- V.T. Nayani. V. T. Nayani is a Tamil director, producer, and writer born and raised in Toronto. Her works include the documentary Shadeism: Digging Deeper (15), and the shorts Disclosure (21) and The Love We Made (21). This Place (22) is her feature debut.

This Place, which made its world premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival, is a coming-of-adulthood story about two women falling in love for the first time. As they grow closer, each is forced to confront their family histories in unexpected ways, while navigating multiple legacies of grief and love. 

 Can you tell us about what led you to wanting to become a filmmaker? 

I am the daughter of two mighty-spirited and tender-hearted Tamil refugees. As members of a persecuted community, my parents escaped a decades-long armed conflict in Sri Lanka. They arrived in Toronto over 35 years ago, the place where I was born, raised, and still reside. My lived experiences, and that of my elders, ground and motivate my work. My passion for storytelling is my greatest inheritance, birthed through a desire for generations of stories lost to us through conflict and displacement. I have a specific sense of responsibility as the daughter of displaced people, to not only document and preserve, but collectively reimagine a present and future we can have a say in, through my work as a writer and director for the screen. For me, life is a continuous series of moments, some with the potential to change everything. My family’s arrival here was one of those moments. I became a filmmaker and storyteller precisely because I am invested in documenting pivotal moments of possibility like these, as well as what precedes and follows. 

How did you carve out a space for yourself in this industry as a Tamil woman?

Truth be told, as countless others will say, it hasn't always been easy. It's only cliché to say because it's true. I have not taken a traditional path to the here and now. When I started, I was constantly scared, anxious, and nervous. My voice often quivered with doubt and my faith was tested a great deal by my own fears. But what inspired me, what kept me going, and what helped me maintain hope, was knowing who, what, and where I come from. I am very much a reflection of what happens when a child is loved well and the deep-rooted confidence that love nurtures inside us. My parents did not have much growing up, but there was always an abundance of love in our home. As refugees, they landed in a new place without anything but their hope for more and focus on a better future. They gave up so much more than I can ever begin to imagine, so that my brother and I could have the privilege of dreaming. I will always be in awe of them and forever grateful for the unwavering foundation of love they built for us. My parents' love has continued to be the promise of all possibility in my life. Their faith in me and my dreams -- even, and especially, when they didn't always understand; their care and tenderness, as I faced the best and worst of this journey; and their constant reminder that I can do and be anything I dream of, it has all helped me to continue trying, striving, and carving out a space for myself in this industry. I’ve been loved by the family gifted to me by birth and the community I've built during the course of my life. I am confident enough to keep going, to keep creating, and to keep holding space for myself, because their love has granted me the courage to do so.

Your film This Place will be making its world premiere at TIFF!  Can you tell us about it? 

It is a dream come true, which I really never fully let myself dream possible. I will always maintain a childlike wonder and excitement, but I've also learned to quietly balance that with measured expectations. To have the film premiere here at home, with the world visiting and watching - what a privilege, what a blessing, what a joy. When we got the call from Canadian Features programmer Kelly Boutsalis, to let us know our film had been invited to have our World Premiere at home, at TIFF, we bawled and screamed out loud. (After, I was running up and down the stairs of my dear uncle and aunt's home in Boston, to give my family loud updates). My producer Stephanie and I were overcome with emotion, crying, telling Kelly more about our journey than she probably had the time for at the time. (Hehe.) But she was so gracious, so kind, and so sweet. It felt like she was as happy to tell us the news, as we were to hear it. It was especially special to hear this news from a Mohawk woman. How rare is that in the film festival world? To have a programmer carefully watching, considering, and selecting your work, who is actually from the communities reflected in your film. That also feels like something that could only happen in Toronto. This place is about this place, a place where our lives first crossed paths, where we first chose to come together, and where we created this film as a community of communities. To have it premiere in this place, our city, at one of the biggest film festivals in the world, feels like pure, sweet, and utter magic.

You recently spoke on Instagram about being a caregiver for your Amma during the process as well. Can you tell us about the journey in making the film over the course of the last few years?  

Over the course of taking this film from possibility to reality as a filmmaker, I was still a woman navigating my own personal journey. The thing is, real life is always happening and stops for nothing. So often, you are forced to pause, sitting out a season or two; to switch focus and tend to other more critical spheres of life; to bide your time quietly underground, facing your fears of failure and feelings of incompetency; and then, hopefully, collect yourself carefully and quietly before trying again. The journey of making this film involved all of this and more. What those outside of our realm of work may forget is that while we are making film and television for the public, we are also humans dealing with everyday matters in private. I want to be honest about that and transparent with audiences, because we are not simple machines who are creating content for consumption. We are people dealing with life, just like anyone else, and we have to nurture our personal lives just as much as we nurture our professional dreams. Over the course of the last few years, what I was reminded of, is that I am only human. Yes, I have dreams. Yes, I have goals. And yes, I have commitments to the heartwork I've chosen to dedicate my life to. But that being said, I also have an everlasting commitment to myself and those I love, which can and inevitably will override whatever constitutes work for me. And that has been a critical lesson, learning and being reminded again and again, that there are more important things than work. And for me, that is the love and commitment I have to who I love, including myself.

What kinds of projects do you hope to create in the future? 

I am a big kid with big dreams of creating boundless heart work, within and beyond our little-big galaxy. Through my heartwork for the screen, I am most interested and focus on creating stories for the screen that are based in both lived realities and multiple imaginations, exploring what it looks and feels like to come of age, at every stage of one's lifetime. Coming-of-age stories often chart times of change for young people. But as a storyteller, I believe we are all continuously "coming-of-age" - not only within ourselves, but in communion with others. I am invested in exploring these stories with curiosity, respect, and tenderness. Ultimately, the goal is to cross boundaries, mediums, and platforms, creating for film and television alike. I have a few exciting and quiet things coming together at the moment (hehe), which will be a mix of stories that invite us to laugh loud, cry quietly, nod emphatically, take deep breaths, and talk to both our screens and each other. My hope is to have the privilege of continuing to create heartwork that makes us feel all the feelings.

 Any advice for younger Didi’s who want to do what you’re doing? 

Trust your gut. About people. About projects. About your purpose. About the possibilities you can’t always see, but know deeply are there waiting for you, just beyond the bend. Learn to hone your intuition, strengthen it, trust it, and believe it. You know what’s right for you. Hear people out, seek counsel from who you trust, listen with care and openness, but don’t let anyone convince you of what’s not right for you. Only you should hold power within you. No one should hold it over you – ever.

What we're reading: 

TV that treats women as baby factories: how Indian Matchmaking glorifies toxic stereotypes

On ‘Never Have I Ever’ Season 3, Our Favorite Messy Brown Girl Wins

How Intergenerational Trauma Impacts the South Asian Community
 
See you in October!

— Roohi Sahajpal
 

Issue 55

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