Didihood ~ Issue 98

Summer is in full swing and it has been hot! Stay safe out there in the heat Didis.

This past month we hosted our Rooted in Community event with South Asian Women’s Network, South Asian Boss Women and South Asian Women’s Collective. The night featured a panel on creating South Asian third spaces featuring speakers from The Tawoos Initiative, Mehfil and Samaya. Thank you to all the Didis who came out and our sponsors for making this event possible!

Meet the Didi

This month we are chatting with writer Sharanja Devasundar who just published her first project — a children’s book titled Aswen Plays Ball.

Tell us about your book and the personal story behind it.

Aswen Plays Ball was written in memory of my cousin, Aswen Chandraraj, who tragically passed away in a car accident in 2021. He was only 23 years old.

In the days and months after his death, I struggled deeply with grief and loss. My thoughts were consumed by the fact that his future had been taken from him so suddenly and unfairly. Aswen had always been a bright light in our family. Being around him felt like experiencing that fleeting, beautiful moment just before a smile appears—you couldn't help but feel joy in his presence. He brought warmth, laughter, and happiness to everyone who knew him.

Losing him felt like losing a baby brother, and I didn't know how to navigate those emotions on my own. In my culture, conversations about grief and mental health were not often encouraged, especially within families. Fortunately, my best friend urged me to speak with a therapist, and that simple act of love changed my life.

During therapy, I was encouraged to shift my focus from the tragedy of Aswen's death to the joy of his life—to remember the love, not only the loss. My therapist suggested that I write down my memories, and I filled page after page with stories about him. Through that process, I began to heal.

The idea for a children's book came to me one day while I was playing with my nieces and nephews. Reading picture books with them brought me a sense of peace during a difficult time. As I watched them grow, I realized that although Aswen had loved these children deeply, their memories of him would naturally fade with time. That realization led me to think about legacy: How do we want to be remembered? Who gets to tell our stories when we're gone?

The answer came to me almost instantly. I would write a children's book about Aswen for the children in our family—a way for them to hold onto a piece of his heart, his spirit, and the lessons he shared, even as their memories of him became less vivid.

The story itself was inspired by conversations with Aswen's sister as we reminisced about his love of basketball. Basketball wasn't just a game to him; it taught him the value of hard work, perseverance, teamwork, and community. Those qualities defined who he was, and they became the foundation of Aswen Plays Ball.

More than anything, this book is a celebration of Aswen's life. It is a way to ensure that the joy, kindness, and love he brought into the world continue to live on through the next generation.

What was it like writing a children's book?

It definitely wasn't easy. I shed many tears throughout the writing process. While creating the manuscript was deeply healing, there were also moments when it felt emotionally overwhelming. Every page required me to revisit memories of Aswen—memories filled with both profound sadness and immense love. It was a journey through grief, but also a journey through joy, laughter, and the many beautiful moments we shared.

There were times when I questioned whether I was doing the right thing. I wondered if I was writing the book for Aswen and his legacy, or if I was writing it for myself. Over time, I realized the answer was both—and that was okay.

Grief is not only about mourning the loss of someone we love; it is also shaped by who we are and how we carry that loss forward. We each find our own way to honour the people we've lost and to make meaning from our experiences. For me, that process took the form of storytelling.

What I ultimately learned is that grief and love are deeply connected. The pain I felt came from loving Aswen so much, and this book became an expression of that love. Aswen Plays Ball is both a tribute to his life and a reflection of the healing that can happen when we choose to share our stories.

Talk about the process of getting published.

I chose to self-publish Aswen Plays Ball through Amazon because I wanted to maintain complete creative control over the story and how my family was represented. While diversity in children's publishing has grown, I often noticed that books featuring children of colour focused primarily on culture rather than the child as an individual. I wanted this story to be about a little boy who loved basketball and happened to be Tamil — not the other way around.

Another important factor was my illustrator, Nicolle Lalonde. She is a talented children's book illustrator whose work immediately resonated with me. Since traditional publishers typically assign their own illustrators, self-publishing allowed us to collaborate and bring the vision for the book to life exactly as we imagined it.

The process wasn't easy. Nicolle and I spent countless hours learning Amazon's KDP platform, often navigating challenges without many children's-book-specific resources to guide us. From concept to publication, the journey took nearly two years.

While self-publishing required a steep learning curve, it was incredibly rewarding. It allowed me to stay true to my vision, work with the creative team I wanted, and gain a deeper understanding of the publishing industry along the way.

Tell us more about your passion for storytelling.

I've loved stories for as long as I can remember, and I credit my mother for nurturing that love. Some of my earliest memories are of us curled up together as she read bedtime stories to me. Books became more than entertainment — they became a refuge. When life felt overwhelming, reading allowed me to escape into other worlds and imagine new possibilities.

Writing became just as important. Through diaries and short stories, I found the freedom to express myself honestly and without fear of judgment. On the page, I could be brave, confident, and authentic in ways that didn't always feel possible in everyday life. Fiction gave me a voice and, in many ways, helped me become the person I wanted to be.

What obstacles did you face while trying to finish your book and how did you overcome them?

The biggest obstacle I faced was myself. Throughout the publishing journey, I struggled with self-doubt and often questioned whether I was capable of telling a story that mattered. It was especially difficult because this wasn't just any story—it was Aswen's story.

I felt an immense responsibility to create something worthy of his memory and the impact he had on the people who loved him. That pressure often left me feeling anxious and afraid of getting it wrong. Over time, however, therapy helped me recognize that I was carrying expectations no one had placed on me but myself.

I eventually realized that the goal wasn't to create a perfect tribute—it was to create an honest one. And more than anything, I believe Aswen would have been proud that I found a way to share his story and celebrate the joy he brought into the world.

What's next for you?

I have finished the manuscript for my second book! This one is a dedication to my parents, who shaped every bit of the person that I am today. 

I’d also like to get Aswen’s story in the New York Public Library. That’s my biggest goal right now.

What would be your advice for any Didis who want to write a children's book?

Don’t question whether people will want to read your work. Every story has an audience — you just won’t know who they are until you put it out into the world.

I initially believed Aswen Plays Ball would only resonate with the children in my family, but I was wrong. Since its release, I’ve been contacted by nearly 50 educators across the GTA who invited me into their classrooms to read the book with their students.

One of the most meaningful parts of those visits is watching Tamil children react when they hear Tamil words in the story — the way they sit a little taller and smile with recognition.

It’s a reminder that there is always someone out there waiting for your story to reach them. You just have to be willing to share it

What we’re reading:

Hollywood keeps discovering South Asian stars, but then it lets them go, by Didi Sadaf Ahsan.

Meet the Journalism alumni and instructors covering the World Cup, including Didi Shireen Ahmed.

Diet Paratha on how everyone wants a piece of India, but no one wants the Indians.

What we’re watching / listening to:

“ANGREZE” music video by Yogi feat. Navz-47.

“Make It Go” by Anjulie, Deep Jandu and Shawn Desman.

JQUEEN’s "Lean Back” remix.

— Nikkjit Gill

Issue 98
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